defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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