Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
