some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
