there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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