i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
