Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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