my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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