And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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