This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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