my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize