someone owes me an orgasm
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
