ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize