he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
