Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize