thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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