Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
