I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize