I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
