She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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