I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
