onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
