it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
