One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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