watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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