I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
