The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
