Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I hate all girls vehemently.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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