the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
