Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
love makes seman taste better
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
