Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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