Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
