I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
