Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
