so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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