i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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