I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When are your genitals available?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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