finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
