Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
