He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
