i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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