I'm drive I can fine osifer
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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