I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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