Me. At least after what I've been through.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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