i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize