I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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