haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
