Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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