i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
