i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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