we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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