You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize