I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
