no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
