you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
