My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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