i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
