dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize