you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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