Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it's like iHOP with fire
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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