Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
