Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
