i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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