with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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