im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
