That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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