I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
