just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
