just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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