Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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