omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
