nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Someone signed my nipple.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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