I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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