When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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