I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
COCAINE IS GR8
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
