If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize