She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
