You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
