that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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