I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
