You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
